Sometimes life feels like letters.

Really random like letters, even more confusing when trying to match them, but there is a story hidden in it. That story is never complete, but even though it is incomplete, it sits deep in the heart. It was rainy season. The sky is always cloudy and full of clouds.

Sometimes it was raining, sometimes it was falling in small drops. That day was the same. Aryan was standing near the window. His eyes were not only looking at the water outside, but old memories flowing with the waterfall.

When the water drops fell on the window glass, he felt as if someone was washing the words inside his mind. ‘How strange is life…’ he muttered to himself.

The rain always took him to the same place, those days, where there was laughter, where there was sweetness, but somewhere there was deep pain. – That time, when they were in college. The rain had started. Water is frozen in the courtyard of the college, the roads are muddy.

All the students are running with umbrellas, some are laughing, some are shouting, some are cursing the rain. Aryan is slow as always. ‘You are never on time!’ He knew that voice from afar. Maya had a small blue umbrella in her hand.

The eyes look slightly angry, but there is a smile hidden somewhere inside. ‘I was waiting for you,’ she said. Aryan laughed. ‘Is there a rule that says you have to wait for me?’ Maya pulled the umbrella over his head and said, ‘There is no rule, but it has become a habit.’ That sentence was small, but it left a deep impression on Aryan. That day they walked together for a long time for the first time.

A wet road, a small umbrella, and the distance between two people. Days passed. Every morning, Maya used to stand near the gate. Even if Aryan came late, she was never angry, at least not for long. ‘You don’t know what it’s like to wait,’ Maya used to say one day. Aryan laughed lightly and said, ‘I won’t keep you waiting forever.’ Maya looked into his eyes and said slowly, ‘Sometimes, life makes itself wait.’ That sentence seemed normal at the time, but later it would become Aryan’s deepest truth.

Rainy days became the witness of their love. After college they used to go for tea together. A tea shop with a small tin roof, where the sound of rain was even sweeter. ‘One day we will grow old drinking tea like this,’ said Aryan jokingly. Maya smiled, ‘If you don’t come late again.’ Both laughed.

One evening, it was raining heavily. Maya suddenly said, ‘Aryan, if you want to kiss me?’ Aryan was shocked. ‘What?’ Maya looked into his eyes and said, ‘They say life is short… sometimes you have to do what your heart says.’ There was silence for a moment.

Only the sound of rain could be heard. Aryan gently held her hand. Maya’s breath deepened. And then the first kiss. Not too long, not too dramatic but just as true. In that kiss there was the smell of snow, fear, and eternal love. After that, their relationship became deeper. Little things, talking on the phone for hours, reading notes together, small fights, and meeting again.

‘I am incomplete without you,’ Maya used to say sometimes. Aryan used to laugh and say, ‘I will complete you.’ But life never allows anyone to be perfect. Maya was not only his girlfriend, she was also his best friend.

After class, sometimes they would go for a walk with their friends to the river bank, a small hill, or that tea shop in town.
One day, Maya planned to go out with her friends. ‘Don’t you come too,’ she said.
‘I am at work,’ Aryan made an excuse.

Maya was a little disappointed, but said with a smile, ‘Okay, I’ll see you back.’
No one thought that ‘see you back’ would be the last sentence.

The sky was heavier that day.
Maya was in the car with her friends.
Laughter, music, small fun were all common.
suddenly…
A loud voice.
And then all was silent.
Aryan’s phone rang.
‘Love… Accident…’
Hearing that word, time stopped.

The hospital room was cold.
Maya was calm.
Aryan held her hand which was always warm before.
“Speak once, love…”
His voice was shaking.
“Even if it’s like a drop of rain, don’t go back… don’t go away from my life…”
But Maya remained silent.

He gently kissed her forehead.
Then the eyes…
cheek…
And lastly the lips.
That kiss was not like before.
It was cold, lifeless.
But for Aryan it was still the same.
‘These lips…’ he murmured,
‘The same as before… the lips I kissed… are the same…’
His tears fell on Maya’s cheeks.

Years passed.
But time stopped there for Aryan.
He still used to go to the same tea shop.
He used to sit on the chair where Maya used to sit.
‘Two cups of tea…’
He still said.

One day, when it was raining,
He was walking on that old road.
Suddenly he felt
Someone is close to him.
The smell of love.
That familiar touch.
He closed his eyes.
And that moment
All came alive again.
That evening…
Maya was sitting on his shoulder.
‘Aryan…’
‘Hmm?’
‘If I disappear… how will you remember me?’
Aryan kissed her neck lightly and said,
‘This is where I feel you…’
Maya smiled.
His breath became deep.
‘I will never leave you,’ she said.

Today, years later
Even remembering all that,
Aryan thought
They are not missing.
‘We will always be together…’
He said slowly.
‘Sometimes love isn’t just having…
In his memory, spending days remembering him is also love…’
It was still raining.
Drops of water were falling on his face.
He did not know whether it was tears or rain.
since the day you left
It’s raining love…
But I said
I count every drop
Which one are you?
Don’t say it once…
Even if it’s just a name…
I’m still there
under that umbrella,
waiting for you
the lips you kiss,
They are the same today
The difference is,
Now you are not…
On the neck you touch
Even today your touch lives on…
Like raindrops

Don’t go back even if it’s too late…
from my life
Don’t get carried away like this…
love,
I live without you
But in living and living
What a difference…
Even if you’re just a memory—
I still live in you…

Dear love, I am telling you this through words, because maybe at that time I was too shy to say it with my mouth. You were right, love. Life is short, but the love in our hearts never dies. You are the vermilion of my heart. You left your indelible mark on my every thought, every breath, every drop of rain.

Even today when it rains, I feel that you are near, the light touch on the lips, the vibration on the neck, the warmth of the hand. There is emptiness in my life, but you filled that emptiness. Your memory, your smile, your breath will always live in my heart. Love, I promise, no matter what, I will never forget you. You will always be in my life. Every moment, every breath, every drop, every breeze, every touch.

I remember those days walking with us in the drizzle, hiding under the umbrella laughing, shivering in the neck at the first kiss, warmth on the lips. Those memories are never erased. Life did not return you to me, but love, you are always inside me in memory, in feeling, in every drop of rain.

I will never leave you. You are the light of my life. I am incomplete without you, but remembering you fills every void. Your memory is the vermilion of my heart, my every dream, the immortal story of my life. Where you are not, it seems like it is raining, but I know that rain, time, distance, and even death cannot erase our love. You always live in my heart.

always I want to be complete with you. To fulfill our unfulfilled love, to make our dreams come true, to experience our every moment together again forever and ever
Yours, Arya